Candy for Lora

Has anyone ever written anything for you and about you? It is the MOST amazing thing ever!!! Especially when they just get you. I never knew that someone I had only ever interacted with 3 or 4 times could write something so... intuitive? I don't know just AMAZING!! She just told my story and all the emotions that I pretend aren't a part of the story she found and shed light on it. I wanted to cry! You should all try this. Write about a stranger. SEE them. Let a stranger in. Let someone see you. Because it's so amazing to be seen. Like Beast when Belle sheds light on him and he's monstrous but he's beautiful. I will love this woman forever! She holds such a special place in my heart forever. FOREVER!

Candy for Lora

- Angela

Silly girl, they said

As they strapped on your tool belt.

You can’t believe everything you see.

So they loaded you up with hammers

Wrenches

Pliers

Screwdrivers made of wisdom far too awkward for your tiny hands

Patted you on the head and explained

Skittles don’t really come from a rainbow.

And just like that

Your childhood vanished.

They said

Build us a house made of the strongest reassurance

Give us walls thick enough to keep out the cold

To keep out fear

To keep out

Reality

We’ll need a roof

They said

Wide enough to shelter us from the storms

Insulated with enough soothing

So that we can sleep soundly and peacefully at night

Knowing

You’ll be there to fix it when it breaks.

And so you got to work

And just like that

You transformed yourself from little girl to handyman.

While others played in make-believe houses,

You slaved to build one too real for childhood

Too scary for parenthood

But just right for a neighborhood

Where children take over as head of household

You were told

To grow old

Quickly

Now

Before our family falls apart

Before the walls come apart

And if you can’t get to your tool belt fast enough

Then let us use your very person as our adhesive.

And so you hold the walls together

Your hands becoming leather

Your family still together

Thank the LORD for you.

Wouldn’t it be funny if they knew?

The “silly girl” they tried to slay

Who toils and labors day after day

Makes her plans to run away

Because her longings leave her famished

She can see in the distance and isn’t surprised

That there is a place where candy falls from the skies

Because when they tried to tie the blindfold around her eyes,

Nothing ever really vanished.

Dessert

I don't remember when I wrote this, but I do remember writing it. I was supposed to continue the story but life happened and that's where it ended but I can always pick it back up again. What do you think?

There are quite a bit of grammar issues. I can do that later, though. Unless you want to edit it for me! =D

DESSERT

As usual I sat quietly in the center table of the circular entrance of the library. I always sat there because it was the largest open space in the library and I could see the exit clearly. Not that I’m claustrophobic or anything I just have a thing about open spaces. I love them. They make me feel less – for lack of a better word? CONSTRAINED. Tied down? I guess I just can’t find the word I’m looking for right now but when I do I’ll let you know.

But anyways here I was sitting (all by my lonesome) at the center table in the large open circular entrance of the library with high ceilings. I forgot to mention that it had high ceilings which made me feel even more - free? I guess that’s another word that could describe the feeling. Tangent. Sorry. Anyway, the automatic doors open and in walks this beautiful specimen of a man. And I kept thinking, who was this character walking all suave like through the door?

Hermosa

How I love you Hermosa. You have been so good to my ego lately. I still can't help but be ridiculously shy when I'm approached by a guy, though. I think it's really nice that some guys still know that the "first move" is their move. BUT it was also fun testing out lines from my Christmas present Pickup lines and Come-ons for all Occasions. I can't believe how many people actually respond to that stuff. It's not all crap, of course I'm sure most are tried and true lines. I've probably even heard some of my male cousins use them with success, but they're pretty boys so it's no doubt it works.


Flattery. If you're trying to hit on a girl please don't use "NEGS" that's just lame. Especially if you see that the girl is just trying to have a good time with her friends. Flattery will get you places. She'll smile or laugh and be obliged to, AT THE VERY LEAST, thank you for the compliment. Now if she's a hard biznatch that just doesn't seem to want to have fun then I'm not sure how to help you there. I'm not even sure why you'd want to approach her.

Then again, maybe her face is just naturally angry. You're thinking DAMN you're mean Greey, but I'm not. You probably know exactly what I talking about too. Some people's face are just naturally angry looking but when they smile it's as if someone turned a light on. Suddenly, this mean hard core biznatch is a gorgeous sweet loving woman you want to get to know. So if you said something like "I bet you look even better when you smile" you'd find yourself in a nice conversation or "conversation" which ever you're looking for. If I was standing alone and I didn't know anyone I'm sure my equilibrium face wouldn't be a smile but if you said that to me, SHIZZZ I'd blush! You know, if I were of the blushing persuasion.

Also, I've found that it's easier to act as a wing to someone than to try to find a man for yourself or myself  because I'm just talking about me here. If I go out thinking I'm going to find a guy to dance with tonight; I get nervous! On the other hand, if I think hey, let's find (insert friends name here) a toy for the night, then I'll just be casually flirting with people; trying to introduce them to my friend so there's no pressure on me! YAY! I love that.

Anyway, last night was more of a win for me than a fail so GOOD TIMES!!

Being single during the holidays is still kind of a drag. As long as I'm single, though, I'm going to have a blast =D Faltering and failing the whole way through.

Lack of response

BTW I'm upset! I asked you... my FRIENDS to help me and give me advice on how to attract the attention of a certain person and no aid was given! You suck!

No matter, though. I'm over it. But you suck!

Probably shouldn't say that to my readers.. but I know you'll love me anyway. =D

Tired

Is it so bad to want to actually settle down already? At 25?

Seriously, I'm tired of this dating world it just makes me feel like there's something wrong with me. I'm too picky. But I have every right to be, no? Why do I always feel like such a man when I date around. OR Why does that matter? I know if I were a guy doing the things I'm doing it wouldn't matter but being of the other gender I find myself censoring my actions. No, don't do that it isn't lady like.You really shouldn't act that way, men won't find you attractive. I've reached a point where I just don't care anymore.

You know when people tell you to be single so you can "find out what you want" or "figure out who you are". Well, I wish they also told you what to do afterwards.What is to be done with all the knowledge you've gathered on your journey to enlightenment? This is the stalemate I've reached. Just a bit over two years of "finding myself" and "figuring out what I want" has left me completely aware of who I am and what I want. However, it has also left me alone, still, and tired.

I never realized how many Mr. Right now's there were in the world.

Why is it so hard to find a connection, a true honest connection on every level and an attraction of a compelling, not to be confused with lustful, nature regardless of looks or bank roll. Not that I've ever been a shallow gold digging woman. But, where are the men with ambition? Not the men chasing greed and wealth. But the men with dignity and loyalty? Is it really too much to ask for the kind guy who'll open doors for you and pay for your dates (even if I pay for the movie and you pay for the dinner) AND still be moderately physically attractive. I can't believe how much I took all that for granted when I was younger, chivalry.

Media is teaching men to suppress their gallant and chivalrous nature and telling women that somehow, that isn't what they're looking for. Then because women are so accustom to dating assholes they don't know what to do when they meet a true to life nice guy and they break him and an asshole is born. Same with men, they've forgotten what a real woman looks and acts like so when they find one they take advantage and take for granted, thus a good woman is broken and the cycle continues. The nice gal is broken by the asshole and thus becomes the bitch who breaks the good guy who becomes the asshole blah blah blah.

In all this ranting I just realized. I'm not sure if I'm putting up defenses and thus not allowing myself to feel the connection or if there just really isn't a connection. I'm horrible!! Grrrr!!!

Actually, my friend asked me a question and it was just the right question to drag the truth out. Damn.

I know I'm random. Why are you friends with such a strange person?!! Sheesh!

Three strikes... I' m bored.

I really don't have anything to post about as far as dating goes. I haven't been out too much so meeting new people hasn't been a major focus. Mostly, I stay home and take care of my grandmother. Props to all the nurses out there that make a living out of taking care of the elderly. I could NOT do this for the rest of my life. I think I'd go insane. Especially if the person wasn't my grandmother, or mother but luckily my mother is well and I don't have to take care of her.

So the point of my blog today.. "Three strikes... I'm bored"? What is that supposed to mean. Well, I took a look back into my high school "relationships" and realized none of them lasted more than three months. Naturally, I asked myself, WHY?!

Down Time

Hello Blogosphere!!!Why have I not been Blogging lately?!?! Well, because movies lie!! It's not all dating and courting and meeting new people all the time when your single. There is A LOT of down time. When you're single you will be spending a considerable amount of time NOT dating or meeting any one new; especially when your too shy to approach people, and by people, I clearly mean men.

Why break the silence if I'm not dating? BECAUSE I'M TOTALLY CRUSHING ON MY INSTRUCTOR!! Nothing will come of it because he's a Krav Maga instructor and I get the giggles and he probably thinks I'm ridiculous BUT I want to try.

Okay, so the real reason I'm breaking my silence: HELP ME!!!!

I'm serious about getting a date with him, unless of course he's taken. However, I don't want to be hella obvious about the fact that I'm on the prowl. I've only ever met him once. We're in a class setting so really I'd only have a passing moment to get myself an in. I'm not trying to throw myself at him I just want to subtly suggest that I'm single and he should ask me out. How do you do that without outright saying it?

So yes. Tips? Suggestions? Post them and I'll tell you what I used and how it worked, or didn't work.

*Side note* This isn't about getting laid. Remove your minds from the gutter! =P

Kay, thanks for the help y'all. Can't wait to see what y'all come up with.