Inconsistency

HALLO!!!

Don't really know who's reading this, but I obviously suck at being consistent.  I looked at my last blog... hahahaha... It's so interesting to look back at the person I have grown from.  What's going on in life recently:

I love my job!
I have amazing friends.
My job pushes me above and beyond the person I thought I could become.
I'm so grateful.

I recently started writing again because of a client.  I debated posting it but, I really like this one.  I have to re write it because we both agreed to write in from another person's perspective.  That's going to be a very difficult and tearful poem to write.  Bring on the growth!

Anywho, I hope y'all enjoy this.

The children of Legend

We were raised on Legend,
by parents with tragic stories
a Lola with an untamable heart
and, if we were lucky, an absentee grandfather.
At a time when child abuse was strictly enforced
rather than regulated.
In a city divided by colors, red and blue.

We were raised, all of us
by parents who worked, or played, or didn't care too much.
So we mothered and fathered ourselves
Exploring the world like gypsies
just far enough to get home first.

We were raised on Legend
less than a block away from the liquor store
We fed ourselves with spare change.
Even our little eyes could see
it was left to us to create change.

We were raised on bus ride adventures with Lola
who did not teach us stranger danger.
we became expert extroverts
despite our inward natures.
She taught us to look both ways before breaking the law
We are not snakes
and families eat together to be together.

On Legend, we became resilient creatures
who came together in crisis, value honesty, trust, faith, and growth
Creatures who support each other
like pillars or roots grounded deep in sturdy soil.

We were raised by Legend
to live wild and adventurous lives
to have fire and drive
to thrive where others merely survive
We are the child of Legend.

P.S.

Dear John,

I know you still read this from time to time.  You should stop. I hope you every happiness in the world.  I have no intention of loving you the way I did in the past. I have no intention of allowing you to hurt me again.  I'm grateful for the growth.  As I've said in the past, I'm moving on.

For the last and final time.  Good Bye.

New Adventure.

I keep saying I'll come back to this, but I can't bring myself to write the way I used to.  I'm starting a new adventure though.  I won't be linking it to this site.  Suffice it to say that it's a bit taboo... Let's see if it kick starts my creative juices and some intriguing stories!









---
P.S.

Dear John,

I know you read this from time to time.  I don't know when the last time you read it was.  You should know.  I'm so angry with you.  One of the last times we spoke I said I'd post this:

"#1 reason I'm still single, I'm still in love with you. "

The thing is, you're still in love with me too.  Despite the fact that you're seeing someone new now because timing is everything and we have THE WORST timing when it comes to wanting to be together, I know you still love me.  I keep thinking back to out movie, Serendipity and some of the last things we said to each other.  Maybe someday I'll finally move on and then you'll come waltzing in like the jackass you are and completely turn my life upside down again.  I hope I'd have the courage to walk away from you.  Or maybe we'll both get the timing right, but of course we'll both be hesitant to try again.  I hope I have the presence of mind to truly think about what that would mean.

Forever yours...

[Your Name Here]

[Your Name Here]

Young child,
Open the dictionary
Write your name in it
     and define yourself
Before anyone else gets a chance
Believe me, this world intends to
     and they will not be kind

Others would make you adjective
     for the sake of objectifying you
They will lust at you
Make you to blame
and list you as synonym to shameful

Before you allow that
Proclaim yourself Noun
Create in your body a Person
     so they may not turn you into a
          place to land
               or
          thing to be owned


#instablog #blogram


I'm still working on the rest of it, but I wanted to post this.  Who knows when I'll finish it.  I've been writing this for some time now.  The right words will come.

Sacrifice

Sacrifice

I will not sacrifice my woman

            for your Manhood

I have worked long and hard

            to create the personage you see before you

I will not make myself less

            for you to feel more

I have no dominion over your ability to become

            Man

And I will not sacrifice my woman for you

-----

Just a little something I'm working on.  I have a few other things in the works as well but this is something I know I'm going to fall in love with.

The rental guy: Another one for the fail blog

It's been what, a month and a half since I've been single again?  I made the decision that I wanted to spend some time alone, not seriously dating anyone in particular.  So the Rental Guy brought up some questions, like: What are my thoughts about casual dating in general right now?

The Rental Guy:
So around the time I became single again some child decided that turning his signal lights on gave him right of way, despite the fact that my car was not only beside his but also slightly ahead of his in the next lane.  Long story short, he hit me.  Now that his insurance company has finally taken responsibility for the accident I get to fix my car ... again!

Now for my fail. Just for reference, Italics are for my internal running thought process/commentary while this was happening .

Enterprise comes to pick me up at the auto shop to take me to get a rental, and he's an okay looking guy.  Adorable face, great smile, and a body like a high school footballer who let himself go a little bit, but could easily get back with a few trips to the gym.  He introduces himself and we start up a conversation.  Good flow with no awkward pauses.  We're in the car driving to Enterprise when it dawns on me, he's totally flirting.  These are getting to know you type questions.  I'm expressing genuine interest type questions. My actions are being perceived as flirty. Honestly, being friendly is not flirting but apparently that is what's going on. PAUSE, said my brain.  Be kind, REWIND.  "Friendly is NOT flirting."  I take a cue from myself and reframe.

He's being friendly. Duh silly girl it's his job to start up a conversation and be courteous.

The thought of flirting is dismissed and I settle back into the flow of conversation.  There's still a vibe I can't quite kick,  but I ignore it in the interest of politeness.  Once the short drive is through, we head into the office and complete the necessary paperwork, and he goes to get a car.  He then calls me to the desks and informs me that he accidentally charged me the full deposit amount of 350$. Holy Crapola! I'm glad that went through, otherwise I'd be really embarrassed right now.  After apologizing and refunding the proper portion of that deposit, he takes me to the car. A Dodge Charger!! Are you Freaking Kidding ME!!! I'm so excited!

When he's done inspecting the car, he continues apologizing, letting me know that he feels really bad about everything and that he's going to cover the taxes, write that there was no gas in the car and I could bring it back empty and basically not have to pay very much if anything at all upon returning the vehicle. SCORE! but weird/extreme.  I thank him for the generous offer and validate that he was probably distracted and working on autopilot it wasn't necessary but I truly appreciate it. We hop in the car and he drives me to the exit where he says :

"Well I live in (place that isn't too far from me which he knows because I had to give him my address earlier).  I don't know if you have a boyfriend or anything, but if you ever wanted to hang out .."

The rest kind of trails away because I'm in my own world trying to figure out what the right thing to say is and What the hell just happened? I knew it! I freaking knew it! What the hell do I do now? What actually came out of my ingenious unfiltered mouth?

"No, I don't."

Seriously? What the hell was that an answer to? No, I don't want to hang out with you.  or No I don't have a boyfriend. Clearly I knew what it meant but did he?

The following exchange was boring, a handshake, direct eye contact, nice meeting you..  perfect opportunity to put it back in his court with a quick "well you have my number."  That's not what happened though. I shook his hand and waved awkwardly from the driver's seat.  That's another one for the fail blog.  I guess it starts now.  As far as the question posed earlier, I'm not sure I'm quite ready to start casually dating just yet, but I'm loving the boost in my ego gents. THANKS!

#blogram #instablog #datingfailbloglives #herewegoagain #didimentiontherewasanotherpassengerduringthatcarride #therewasasecondpassenger #hewasanothercustomer #secondlevelawkward

Complacency

Dear Webster,

You fail to accurately define the term "Complacency."
Included are my revisions to your text.  Please note:

Complacency (N):
1. Silent murderer of once passionate relationships.
Synonym: Friendship
Antonym: Lover
Complacency (V):
2. The act of unwittingly replacing passion with the milder emotion, affection.
Synonym: Negligent, Selfish
Antonym: Attentive, Caring

No credit needed. Simply edit text promptly so as not to create any further confusion.

Best Regards,

Those who have learned and hope to be better.

Ain't Nothing (What loving you has taught me pt.1)

Hint about who I might be writing about: Who is the first person you should learn to love before you even attempt to love another human being thoroughly and entirely?

Ain't Nothing

I'm sorry, were you looking at me?
Did you find something wrong?
Did you see a mistake?
Am I not the right size?
Am I not the right hue?
Yes! I'm talking to you.

Did you find a glitch in your little niche?
No?
Yeah, that's right.
Because there is nothing wrong with the length of my legs
or the width of my waist.

No, there is nothing wrong with the thick of my thighs
or my handles of love.
I see no annoyance in the deep of my eyes
the round of my face
and flat little nose

I feel no big problem in the strength of my pride
and have no reason to hide
It seems we're not that different
you and me.
So I guess there ain't nothing wrong with me.

#blogram #Singlelarity #WLYHTM