You know you're fail when....

Wow... I was hanging out with my gay straight friend. He's my gay straight friend because he supplies the companionship of a gay friend who is COMPLETELY platonic but he's straight. Not many people understand our relationship but if you have a gay straight friend, you know what I mean. Okay, then before that I was talking to my cousin; this is what I've learned from talking to them about my first free drink from a bartender EVER!!!! (Read about that in Social Cues)

I FAIL!

According to my gay straight friend I am one of the flirtiest girls he knows EXCEPT when it comes to guys I might actually be interested in OR might actually be interested in me.

According to my cousin, he knows how to flirt with men better than I do.

Case and point:

GSF tells me the perfect line to have said to the bartender to get a conversation going INSTEAD of running away.

"So do you give free drinks out to every girl?"

OR some sly remark similar to that. What ever so I couldn't come up with it on my own because I FREAKED OUT! I got nervous I wasn't sure?!?! It's like that Ikea commercial, when the lady thinks she's getting everything at way too good of a deal that maybe she's stealing stuff. It's not a bargain, IT'S A STEAL!! So she's running out the store calling to her husband to start the car because she thinks she's stealing. Yeah, that's how I felt! Lame but I don't have cool moves. Deep down in the cockles of my soul...

Okay wait. Just imagine a big cheese ball smile on my face because I've been trying to find a way to work that word into this blog. It's kind of my favorite word right now. It's funny sounding. Actually okay, scratch that it's my favorite phrase. I just dictionary.com'd the word alone and it doesn't really mean what I thought it would mean. Also, it appears it's not the cockles of ones soul it's the cockles of ones heart. So you know whatever, you learn something new everyday right? Right!

Honestly I don't intend to deviate from the story so much ALL THE TIME. It must get tiresome to read like that. You must have already forgotten what I was initially saying it's just the way my funky little mind works. Someday I'm going to get through a blog without distraction. I hope. One miraculous day.

Deep down in the cockles of my heart I am a dork. I know this to be true and many of you do too. I think it's charming and amusing. The really hot guy in the room that I'm trying not to oogle and does not yet realize my charm, yeah, he's just not going to see that. I could spend the whole night trying to ignore him but like my GSF says, "You can't ignore someone who isn't trying to talk to you." He makes a valid and hurtful point. That cuts pretty deep if I think about it too much. Luckily, he was talking about his own pseudo-relationship problems and not my epic fails.

Anyway, you know you're fail when you guy friends or cousins start offering to be your wingman because they don't think you're capable of procuring a man without them. When they feel the need to walk you through the steps of simply getting a guy to ask for your number. This is an epic low point for me. You may think I reached it long before this moment but I'm just starting to see it now.

Sigh.... Sighsighsigh...