Still?

Responses I get for being single.

Still?
As in, "you're still, single?"

What's wrong with you?
As if it's my fault that I'm single.

Why are you so picky?
Why am I not allowed to know what I want and demand to have it.

---

He said, "What do you want in a man?"

"I'll know when I see it," I smiled coyly as if I knew what I wanted and just couldn't articulate it. As much as I would like to believe in the truth of that, it simply isn't true. I don't know for certain what I want. I imagine I would know it when I see it but I also imagine I'd have to see it walking away before I was certain.

It's just that what I want is so simple.
Want me.
Enough to fight. Show me I'm worthy of battle.
Call me Helen and send ships.
Deserve me.

Aside from good looks, intelligence, and charm...
Amuse me.
Be... unexpected.

Throw me off guard
Catch my breath
Stop my heart from running
Convince my mind that this is right

Do... Something
Shock me.
Bring me back to life.

Challenge me to be better when I start to think I'm perfect
Tell me how I'm wrong when I know I'm right.

Support me
and all my crazy ideas

Provide
Stability, safety, security, a place to land
Don't let me be afraid to fail
Don't let me fail

Be stronger
Take me on
I'm a stubborn pain in the ass
and I'll fight you every step of the way
Every urge to let you in
I will fight you

When every basis for a relationship I've seen has fallen, NO, crumbled to pieces because it was held together with silly string it is a miracle I wake up and believe in love.

But if you could stick it out
I would love you, passionately, forever, I would love you.

So I guess, that's what I want.
Want me
Broken, damaged, insecure as I am
Want me anyway.

The Potential

I've never written about this guy because I'm scared he'll read it and know it's him. Now, I hope he reads it so he knows he's made an impact.

The Potential

He is the softest voice
Gentle
Like water on rocks
Sounds like trust
Falling back and knowing I will be caught

He looks like trouble
Staggering
Like driving on black ice
The chill down my back
Just before I jump, terrified, off the waterfall

He feels like change
Sudden
Lightening on sand and water
Turning me to glass
and somehow I'm not afraid to break

He smells like comfort
Southern
Like fireflies in open fields
Hugs you like hot coca and fireplaces
Maybe he won't burn

Stop
with the doubt
Listen
to the pretty words
Allow
for faith

Because here,
Where you are most scared to look
There is potential