What loving you has taught me

What loving you has taught me.

I am the jealous type.

If by jealous you mean, you are aliar and have not given me reason to trust you

So forgive me if I take your words with the grain of salt and set them on my open wounds in case I forget what it feels like to believeyour pretty pretty words.

I am needy.

If by that you mean you are absentand I can never tell what I mean to you.

So please, reassure me again that Iam the only woman in your life even though that woman’s facebook cover photobegs to differ.

I am impatient.

But in that you must admit you are cheater.

Bidding me wait a breath longer andthough my lungs are getting stronger my face is turning blue and my fingers aregoing numb and I can’t reach you. Then again, there might not be anyone toreach out to.

I am alone.

In loving you I am alone, along withevery other woman you hum sweet nothings too. We are alone waiting in beds yousometimes come home to. Sadly, alone sometimes feels better than remembering Ilove you.

I love you.

By that I mean I love me - enough tofind the strength to walk away from doubt and fear and a past of jealousy,need, impatience and loneliness. I adore me enough to grow and put my own damnself on a pedestal and praise the woman who could have loved you sounconditionally. I worship me and by that I mean I forgive my faults andglorify my strength because stupidity is sometimes a fault of love, and love isthe ultimate gift.

I am a gift you didn’t deserve.

Murse

Something I've started. It's not done yet but I wanted to post this. If I ever get around to finishing this I think it might be pretty powerful. 

I just realized “MURSE” can only mean man purse because to say that it also means man nurse is to say that only a woman can be a nurse. To say it with a smirk as if laughing at the poor man that wasn’t man enough to be doctor is to laugh in the faces of all the women before me who fought hard to equate themselves to men.