They say that love is humble. There is no more humbling experience than loving a man incapable of truly loving anyone other than himself. I want to disintegrate into a world in which I never met him, the biggest mistake of my life until this point. Sadly, I'll be left with a lasting memory of you. I will wear it like an open sore in the depths of my being and it will burn with animosity to remind me of him.
Because there is no hate without love I refuse to honor him with such an idea. I refuse to be reminded that I once burned with desire for him. He no more deserves my hatred than he deserves my love or desire, and so I abhor his existence. Though I would not wish it to end, for neither does he deserve my wishes.
In this, I am not a better person. I am vindictive and vengeful. I am fury and anger. But he is no more deserving of my time or emotion. So for now, he is a painful memory, a slow burning in the darkest pits of my history. He is poison I shall put away and not drink anymore.
No comments:
Post a Comment