What loving you has taught me

What loving you has taught me.

I am the jealous type.

If by jealous you mean, you are aliar and have not given me reason to trust you

So forgive me if I take your words with the grain of salt and set them on my open wounds in case I forget what it feels like to believeyour pretty pretty words.

I am needy.

If by that you mean you are absentand I can never tell what I mean to you.

So please, reassure me again that Iam the only woman in your life even though that woman’s facebook cover photobegs to differ.

I am impatient.

But in that you must admit you are cheater.

Bidding me wait a breath longer andthough my lungs are getting stronger my face is turning blue and my fingers aregoing numb and I can’t reach you. Then again, there might not be anyone toreach out to.

I am alone.

In loving you I am alone, along withevery other woman you hum sweet nothings too. We are alone waiting in beds yousometimes come home to. Sadly, alone sometimes feels better than remembering Ilove you.

I love you.

By that I mean I love me - enough tofind the strength to walk away from doubt and fear and a past of jealousy,need, impatience and loneliness. I adore me enough to grow and put my own damnself on a pedestal and praise the woman who could have loved you sounconditionally. I worship me and by that I mean I forgive my faults andglorify my strength because stupidity is sometimes a fault of love, and love isthe ultimate gift.

I am a gift you didn’t deserve.